The Milk of Texas

Ben

I think half of our episodes are just cold opens to, oh, hey, Susanna.

Aaron

Alright. So I'll be careful not to talk about how terrible JavaScript is or anything like that because we're already recording.

Dave

You could talk about that if you'd like. We're not gonna stop you.

Ben

It's terrible. What's your favorite part of JavaScript, Aaron?

Aaron

Do you is it possible that you have one? Not using

Zuzana

it?

Ben

Hey, Suzanna.

Zuzana

Hi. Welcome. Sorry. I just I don't wanna show you what's in the background because it's terrible mess. So I'm just kinda positioning myself so you don't see what's behind me.

Aaron

Pointing at the the camera at the ceiling instead.

Zuzana

Can't I can't do that. There you go.

Aaron

I'm just hearing the phone. Perfect.

Zuzana

Is the sound okay, Dave? Because I don't have my Yeah. I don't I can't, like, raise the mic.

Dave

No. Right there is actually that was good.

Zuzana

This is good?

Dave

Yeah. That's good. It's good.

Ben

Producer Dave approved. Love it.

Zuzana

I'll try not to touch anything. I'm just a little one in the corner for a change.

Dave

Oh, Aaron, welcome. You are only our second guest. You got some big shoes to fill. Eric Barnes was on, and he had a wild story about getting in a fight in London. So I expect you'll also be sharing some wild stories as well.

How are you?

Aaron

I probably don't get in as many fights as Eric because I think my current number is 0. So I don't know how many fights he gets in, but it's definitely less than Eric. So I'm I'm happy to be here and tell you why cheese is bad and weather. Weather is weather.

Dave

See, we were gonna I was gonna, like, gently No. No.

Zuzana

No. No.

Aaron

No. No. This is that nope. You can't bury the lead. So we don't have to talk about it now, but it's out there, and people are gonna be like, it's just a random thinks cheese is bad.

Ben

Yeah. Wow.

Dave

My body thinks cheese is bad. Yeah.

Ben

That's very accurate.

Dave

My brain doesn't, but my body Body keeps

Aaron

score as as they say, you know, so the body knows.

Ben

Oh, boy.

Dave

Ben, you're our you're our chief Wisconsin correspondent. I feel like

Ben

you're constantly obligated. Yeah. Once we knew Aaron was joining us, I was googling Texas cheese, famous Texas cheeses, cheese production. And Mhmm. I can say, Aaron, I think there's an opportunity because it turns out Texas is the number 3 dairy producer in the United States.

The big state here in America.

Aaron

Number 1.

Ben

Well, California, number 1. Wisconsin, number 2. Texas, number 3. A lot of cows in Texas, but you're not in the top ten for cheese production. Wisconsin's number 1.

California is number 2. Like, Ohio is beating you.

Dave

New York's beating you.

Zuzana

What are you doing with all this milk?

Ben

Yeah. Where is your milk going, man? This should be going to cheese, don't

Zuzana

you think?

Aaron

You know, that's a good that's a good question and something I definitely know a lot about.

Ben

Yeah. Permission, Marianne. Please.

Zuzana

Yeah. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. Our milk is experts here. You know, or it's yeah. Yeah. So that's it.

That's that's probably where it goes. Yeah.

Dave

Yeah. Right there.

Aaron

Uh-huh. Yeah. Don't know if, I don't know if everybody caught it, but that's that's Dylan Furr. The only time I'm gonna say it is, just say, yep. There you go.

Milk of Texas.

Dave

Went through, like, a metaphorical tunnel while he's on a cell phone. He just dropped out.

Aaron

Came back with 0 answers for the rest of us. No idea where the milk of Texas goes. I imagine we drink it or we ship it to Ohio for them to make cheese.

Ben

That those are my key guesses. Ohio could be importing a lot of Texas milk.

Aaron

Yeah. I'll be honest. I don't know where Ohio is, and Steve no. No. No.

It gets worse. Steve Did you figure out where Idaho is?

Ben

Anyhow Steve

Aaron

told me he's in Idaho, and I'm like, I don't know. I called Idaho the Midwest, and he laughed at me. And I'm like

Dave

Oh, boy.

Aaron

I think Idaho is the Midwest. And then our new our new Linda, whose name is Kelsey, is, from Iowa, and I was like, I don't know where Iowa is. Isn't that Idaho? And they were both like, yeah. We get that a lot.

Iowa is the Midwest. Get that about Idaho, and Idaho gets it about Iowa. Oh, guys, I could not if you gave me a map right now, I could identify maybe 6 or 7 states.

Dave

Yeah.

Ben

Maybe. So you're taking the idea of, like, why should I remember it if I can look it up? You're taking that to the geographic extreme.

Aaron

Yeah. Or, like, why when when do I need to know where where Connecticut is? I know it's up there. Like, I know it's

Zuzana

up there.

Ben

Love it. But I

Dave

don't why why do I

Aaron

need to I'm not gonna, like, I'm not gonna walk there, and if I did, there would be signs. But, like Do

Zuzana

you know

Ben

where England is?

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Ish.

Ben

Could you on a map. Right?

Aaron

Yeah. I mean, I know where the UK is. Now what the UK is is an open question, but I know that it's an island. Right?

Ben

Susana, can you do an explainer on that for us sometime?

Aaron

No. No. There's there's like it's overlapping Venn diagrams.

Dave

It is. It's a great Venn. It's just a fantastic Venn series of Venn diagrams.

Aaron

No. I don't I don't have the mental bandwidth for that.

Dave

Like Well, there's Yeah.

Aaron

New York, California, Florida, Texas, Washington state

Ben

The Cornish.

Dave

Washington. The Cornish.

Aaron

Okay. Maybe Tennessee because it's long and and skinny. Sure. Yeah. Oklahoma because it's right above us.

Ben

Yeah. Was prepared for this call. I would have brought a map game and had Aaron and Susanna go head to head on US geography.

Zuzana

My chances would be really good, to be honest.

Aaron

Yeah. You you they really would. Even, like, New Mexico, Arizona, like, which one's which? I don't know. Colorado, I know.

Ben

Colorado. Got that one. Yeah. So it looks a lot like Wyoming, though.

Aaron

You gotta be careful. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Dave

I think Wyoming is to Colorado as Oklahoma is to is to Texas. Right? It is sort of Colorado's hat, if you were. Much like Oklahoma is Texas's hat. Yeah.

Aaron

Yes. Mhmm. Yeah. Oklahoma's claim to fame is that it is near Texas.

Dave

I lived I lived in Oklahoma in high school, and I I don't dispute that at all. There's, yeah, yeah, there's just nothing. Sorry. People in Oklahoma, all of the listeners of Cheese and Weather from Oklahoma, I'm so sorry. There's just nothing happening there.

Aaron

Y'all y'all have casinos, and you're near Texas. So that's good.

Ben

That's that's 2 things.

Aaron

Yeah. That's great. That's great.

Ben

I almost ended up in Oklahoma for the eclipse. I was headed to that corner of what is it? Like, Texarkana or whatever? Like, Texas. Mhmm.

Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas. Yeah.

Aaron

Texas, Texas, Texas, Oklahoma, ended up in Illinois. There's a Texoma. There's a Oh. Lake Texoma. So we love on the border towns, we love to just, you know, throw their names together.

Yeah.

Ben

Mhmm. So, famously, we're going to Dallas in well, next week when this episode comes out.

Dave

That's right.

Ben

And that is Aaron's hometown. He is the king of Dallas, Texas as far as we're concerned.

Aaron

Mhmm. Duly appointed.

Ben

We need to talk a little bit about Laracon weather in Dallas, Texas in late August, which is really the best time to visit Dallas, I think. Truly. Can you help us understand? Help us prepare?

Aaron

It's going to be oppressive.

Dave

Oppressive. Oppressive.

Zuzana

Oh, because he was saying it's going impressive. Not not impressive. Impressive.

Ben

No. Well,

Aaron

you you might be

Dave

able to mean by impressive?

Aaron

Yeah. It's gonna be bad. So next week, I think, is gonna be the hottest week so far. So maybe we'll miss, you know, the absolute hottest for Lyricon.

Ben

You mean, like, the hottest of the summer? Uh-huh. Oh, great. Uh-huh.

Aaron

Yeah. So next week, we're looking at next week, we're looking at 105. 1105 to 110.

Dave

And that's before heat index. That's just actual

Aaron

Yeah. That's just that's just the raw numby. Yeah. So the good news is Dallas is basically a concrete heat dome. So we're gonna you know, when it's at 105, at least at night, it'll cool down to maybe 98, 99, something like that.

So we can, you know, have a nice breeze at night. Yeah. I wouldn't plan depending on how close you are to the venue, I wouldn't plan on walking, to the venue or rather anywhere really.

Ben

This really affects Dallas's reputation as a walkable city. I think this is really gonna hurt.

Aaron

No. This doesn't affect it at all because our reputation is is we are not a walkable city. Yeah. We drive our big SUVs to the grocery store and

Ben

go from the air conditioned cockpit to air conditioned cockpit. Yeah. Yeah.

Aaron

So Yeah.

Dave

This is I'm glad you brought this up. So, Aaron, a number actually, I think Ben and I are staying at the at the same hotel. I think I know a lot of people are are there's, like, one hotel that is, like, theoretically, those of us from outside Texas, we look at this and go, it's like an 8 minute walk. This is walkable Mhmm. To the venue.

Does that sound walkable for like, on a Texas scale? Like, maybe walk in the morning, but in the afternoon, probably.

Aaron

Perhaps walkable in the morning. Okay. You might wanna check the route to see if it is physically walkable. I mean, there there's, like, there's a good chance, you know, if you're like, I'm just on the other side of the overpass. It's like, well, there's there's there's no sidewalks to get to where you're going.

That is entirely possible. I will say the area of town, in which Lyricon is happening is a little more vibey and walkable. So that you know, we have that in in our favor there. But, yeah, beyond that, I wouldn't expect, like I don't know where Laracon after dark is. I don't remember, but Yeah.

Just don't plan on trying to walk there is is my guess.

Ben

It looks like 0.7 or no 0.3 miles. Is that

Aaron

What's the name of the hotel?

Zuzana

That's nothing.

Ben

It's the Kimpton. Kimpton.

Dave

In Dallas. And, 0.3.

Zuzana

That feels

Ben

borderline. I mean, in decent weather, 100%.

Aaron

Well, in the morning, I feel like

Dave

in the morning in the morning, we should be okay.

Aaron

And I don't think we have

Dave

to cross the highway.

Aaron

No. This looks like you do. So the factory, which I will say is not a not as cool a name as it used to be. It used to be called the bomb factory because it was literally a bomb factory. And then they went and renamed it the factory, and I'm like, the guys

Dave

The woke mind virus is

Aaron

coming from all of them. Probably. Yeah. So the factory is 8 minute an 8 minute walk, and it looks totally walkable. But, yeah, it'll be warm.

It'll be warm. Warm. And it won't be it won't be a pretty walk because you're truly walking right under 75, which is a a highway. Yeah. So, yeah, you can do it.

Dave

Susana, as you're listening to this, how much are you miss you're just the FOMO's kicking in already.

Zuzana

Oh, yeah.

Dave

A former bomb factory walking under an overpass. This is just real Americana.

Aaron

Yeah. Real Americana. It's probably an Arby's nearby.

Zuzana

I'm just expecting a lot of pictures and videos and experiences. Next time we talk, you have to fill me in on all the things that happened, and I'm gonna be here.

Aaron

And you'll be sad.

Dave

Yeah. You won't be oh, oh, no. Susanna. Who? Are you, I was gonna say, I don't think anything will be livestreamed except Taylor's, talk will be livestreamed.

I think I saw it.

Zuzana

I'm not gonna watch it, though. I don't no. No. Nothing to

Aaron

do with Taylor. Okay. Woah. No. I'm not

Zuzana

gonna watch Taylor. Do you

Ben

wanna provide any context or just I would

Aaron

love to. Yeah. That's the big boss you're talking about.

Zuzana

No. I I'm just gonna ignore everything that's happening that way because it's gonna be too hard. It's gonna hurt too much. So that's why.

Ben

I really wish we could've got you over here for this one. You really shouldn't miss any of them.

Zuzana

Yeah. But August is just difficult with the kids. I know in the US, kids start schools earlier. Like, in the UK, August is the month when the kids are properly home, and it's just yeah. So as long as lockdown happens in August, I'm not gonna be able to come.

Just saying saying if Taylor if Taylor is listening, I'm just saying, Taylor Yes. If you wanna see me ever again,

Aaron

it sounds like I'm threatening you.

Zuzana

Okay. I'm gonna say it in different tones.

Aaron

Definitely a threat.

Zuzana

That's a that sounds like a chore.

Aaron

We're gonna choose an ultimatum. So,

Zuzana

no, Taylor, you know you love to no. Hold on. I have to think about it. Basically How

Aaron

do you see it in

Ben

a threatening, but not threatening?

Zuzana

Yeah. I don't know. How do I say it? I need to say like, the message I'm trying to put across is that if I were to come to Laracon US again, it cannot be in August. So how do I say it nicely to Taylor so that he doesn't do it in August again?

Ben

I would love to join you at Laracon US in June 2025.

Aaron

That's like, I'm still aggressive.

Dave

July? Yeah.

Aaron

I feel like I feel like Iain is is partially missing because his kid's going off to college or it's like he's dropped off that week or something. So I don't think you're the only one.

Dave

Yeah. It was a whole thing, like, depending on where Iain's kid went to college, there was like I think it was down to, like, a couple options. And for a lot of college kids, they're starting, like, that last week. And for kids in the northeast, they don't start school until, I think, that last week

Zuzana

Mhmm.

Dave

Of August as well. Whereas in in Texas, Aaron, I assume they probably went back this week, the week before, something like that.

Aaron

Yeah. I think most kids I don't know about colleges, but I think most kids started this week because school zones are back on. And, you know, working at an an apartment as I do, the pool is is empty now. All the, like, all the kids are back in school, so that's that's nice. You're called to school.

Terribly loud, but sometimes there were, like, you know, a bunch of kids outside playing in the pool.

Zuzana

It's like does every apartment building have a pool?

Aaron

I think most apartment complexes have pools.

Zuzana

Is it inside or outside?

Aaron

It's an outdoor pool. Outdoor. In the, it's surrounded by the apartment, but it is outdoors. So it's like a courtyard.

Zuzana

Oh, okay. Okay. That is so cool.

Aaron

It's awesome. Yeah. My family uses it. Like, they've they've swam in the pool. I'm in here working.

Like, they'll come out here

Ben

and they'll make the code.

Aaron

The code. It's been working from

Ben

home man. From an apartment. Uh-huh. You can expense it. This is fantastic.

Yep. Why don't more people do this?

Aaron

I don't know. I don't know. More people need to be crazier. Yeah. It's it's like I've got a full gym right downstairs, a pool that my, you know, wife and kids and the au pair use.

There's obviously a full kitchen, full private bathroom, 2 rooms. I'm in the studio room. There's a living room out there. It's like, it's it's awesome. I love it.

Dave

Aaron, you could do a whole this could be a whole, like, sort of, you know, marketing niche for you. Like, you could be try you could, you know, be telling people, like, almost in a very Steve Jobs iPhone introduction way. You're like, you know, it's an office. It's a swimming pool. It's a gym.

Are you getting it? It's my apartment complex. Are you getting it? Right. You could be pitching this in some way, the secrets of, you know, you know, the one thing, Aaron, much like, you know, people say you wanna find a friend with a boat, you probably don't wanna own a boat.

You don't have to own a pool. You are the business Aaron is the friend

Aaron

with the pool. It's great.

Dave

That's right. That's right.

Aaron

Aaron Francis Inc has a pool. However, Aaron Francis Personal also wants a pool. Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. I've heard some noise about this.

Ben

You would like want to dig your own pool?

Aaron

Well, I want to have dug my

Ben

own pool, I will say. Yeah. You want a pool?

Aaron

That's like a lot of things in life, I want to have done them. I don't

Ben

want to do them, which is it's just much time to do them, but it would be nice to have had the time.

Aaron

Exactly. Yeah. I don't know about the hand digging anymore. It wouldn't ever really be hand. It would be machine assisted digging, but I I think maybe doing it myself is just generally a bad idea.

Ben

I am always hunting for an excuse to rent a small excavator. Haven't found one yet.

Dave

Aren't we all?

Ben

Yeah. No. Man, anytime I drive past the rental center, I'm like, oh, look at that. Wonder what I could use that lift for.

Aaron

I've rented a little, like, like, a little bucket loader that you stand on the back of, and it's got tracks and a bucket Oh, you have a little bit of a dream before.

Ben

What did you do with that? Awesome.

Aaron

At our old house, I created something called the chill zone. That was its technical name. And there was this little dead corner of the yard that had a bunch of junk in it, and so I rented this bucket loader and, like, moved all of it around, leveled the ground, and then had, like, I don't know, 3 or 4 yards of gravel delivered and scooped up all the gravel and made, like, a just like a hang space, called the chill zone. It was awesome.

Dave

The chill zone.

Aaron

So much fun.

Dave

Chill zone.

Ben

Yeah. Feel like we need to name more patios.

Aaron

Everything needs a name.

Dave

A lot of

Ben

people just call that the yard.

Dave

You could let people you could let people pay for it. You could get sponsorships. You could Exactly. You know, in in in the university space, we call those endowments. Right?

You get you get your your patio endowed.

Aaron

Yes. Imagine imagine how cool it would be to have the Dave Hicking pool of swimming at Aaron Francis' house. Like, isn't that a great name? You can toy with the name a little bit if you want.

Dave

Do I get a plaque? I get a plaque. Right?

Aaron

You get a little plaque. Yeah.

Zuzana

For I

Aaron

would prefer a $100,000

Dave

dollars.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 50,000, no plaque. Just like a honorable mention.

Dave

Honorable mention? Okay. Mhmm.

Zuzana

Can

Ben

you build a pool for $50? I have no concept for

Aaron

how much it cost to put a pool in it back. No way.

Dave

The the only thing I know about pool costs are what I learned in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, right, which is that you can cover it with an end of the year bonus, which I don't think is probably true.

Ben

No. Not anymore.

Dave

I wanna believe.

Ben

That's Hollywood.

Aaron

Yeah. Somebody I don't know if it was a relative or somebody online was telling me that pools are north of a $100,000, and that's when I was like,

Ben

there's no way you get that much use out

Aaron

of a pool. Right?

Ben

No. Like, how many years of municipal pool passes is your own pool?

Zuzana

How big a pool are we talking? I mean, you can try to get, like, an inflatable pool that doesn't cost us more.

Ben

No. You were talking about people on the ground that's Like

Dave

a hole in the ground pool?

Zuzana

Yeah. But still because

Dave

you probably need 5

Ben

or 6 meters long.

Dave

And you're gonna have some, like, some sort of a a situation to put some, like

Aaron

You gotta have a situation.

Dave

Chairs and You

Ben

gotta have

Aaron

a chills on. Chills

Dave

on. Hardscape.

Aaron

I need a chills on.

Zuzana

Yeah. But now it's out of scope. That's too much. Now you are that's not, you know, scope out of scope. You wanna pool?

You you get a pool. There's no talk about chill zone, just a pool. What's

Aaron

they're all together. What's a yeah. A pool without a chill zone is just a hole in the ground, frankly.

Zuzana

With both.

Ben

Well, then you need a second sponsor for the chill zone, although that could be like the silver level spot that you could do. You could do that for 50.

Aaron

For 50. You can have the Dave Hickey chill zone. Yeah. That was

Dave

the naming rights for this pool are really, really adding up.

Ben

It's going to be something Yukon, right? What do they call the Yukon? The Yukon like basketball arena or hockey arena? Do they have like. So Okay.

Dave

Oh, it gets and it gets complicated. There are naming opportunities. Right? So, like, you can, like, at some universities, there's, like, the name of the arena, but the floor is named after somebody else. Right?

So you can name the floor. I really thought about, I was I mean, not real I mean, really thought about it.

Aaron

Not really.

Dave

Really thought about, honing up 20 grand to have one of the Zambonis named after us,

Zuzana

which I

Ben

thought would be great. Incredible. That might be worth 20 grand.

Aaron

Listen. If you got $20, I have a chill zone to sell you.

Dave

Trust me. That's amazing. We're wheeling a deal.

Aaron

Yeah. I'll let it go for 20 for sure.

Ben

Yeah. A Zamboni, though. Could you pick, like, the wrap on the thing? Like, they must have

Aaron

wrapped it with vinyl

Ben

stickers or something.

Zuzana

What is a Zamboni? Although

Ben

Oh, great question.

Zuzana

I'm sorry. I feel so dumb today. Like, I understand.

Dave

No. This is great. I love to man sweats, but things

Aaron

know what a Zamboni is.

Ben

That's the major theme of this podcast.

Aaron

Me not

Zuzana

knowing stuff. Yes. Go on. So you have, you know, indoor hockey rinks. Yep.

Dave

Frozen ice, obviously. And you they need to be I'm

Zuzana

just

Dave

I'm laying this for everybody. Well, there's no such thing as

Aaron

ice that's not frozen. So, like, I don't know. Keep going. Good job.

Zuzana

Good job.

Ben

It's fine.

Dave

That's fine. Listen. I'm on my first day of ADHD, man. So my brain is, like, so fast right now. Okay.

Ben

We'll talk about that later. Yeah. We're gonna do that.

Dave

As you're as as the players are using it, skating on it, the ice is getting kind of beat up in between during the period. And so in between periods, they have this machine that is spraying down water and then freeze and then

Aaron

it so it can get

Dave

frozen and smoothing it out, creating a new fresh surface And that's what

Zuzana

it's called, Zamboni.

Ben

Yeah. Mhmm. It's called the Zamboni monkey game. Right, Zuzana?

Zuzana

Yeah. I didn't know what it's Okay. This is what is it called in a check? I don't even know what it's called in check. But I know it's a machine.

You know? It doesn't know what that's what it was called.

Dave

And so at our at our older,

Ben

we need to to let Dave explain it to you. He

Zuzana

Yeah. Go on, Dave. Tell me.

Dave

At our older arena, the one that's downtown, it's the former NHL arena. When we play there, they have an old schools, they have an older old school Zamboni where they have a kid who can, like, sit on the back, like, in between periods and, like, wave at everybody. Right? It's great. These new ones for safety or insurance or who knows, the kids can't even sit on

Zuzana

it anymore. It's like Boring.

Ben

We used to be wild games, they have a fake Zamboni that has, like, couches and seating on top instead of the regular Zamboni stuff, and they drive them around the arena. So you can, like, rent the thing and get driven around, like, the middle of ice in between periods.

Zuzana

Why is it fake? Not

Ben

worth 20 feet.

Zuzana

Does it not do the job? If you're already going around the arena, why not just let it do the job?

Ben

I think there's no room for the couch if they have to store the ice shavings. K. Priorities. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. The Dave Hicking Zamboni for frozen ice. I like that. That sounds good.

Ben

You've got a pen.

Dave

It's very dirty Zoolander School. Yeah. Kids who can't read good and stuff. Yeah.

Aaron

That's worth 20 grand.

Ben

20 grand. What else have you considered naming at UK?

Dave

You can have, like, the locker rooms named after you. You can have, like, basically any piece of a

Ben

chair in the basketball arena. Could you have, like, your name

Dave

on the basketball?

Zuzana

I don't know

Dave

if you can get I don't know if you can get a a chair individually. Yeah.

Ben

I'm just trying to go down the

Dave

Sure.

Ben

Trying to go down the we're at $20. What can you get for a Yeah.

Dave

I don't know. What's the cheapest Or 2,000. Oh, 5 or 2,000? Yeah. I don't even know if Yukon will get a real person on the phone with me for 5 grand.

That's Probably

Aaron

a a brick. You you get a brick with your name on it.

Ben

And then they put it on the ground outside the arena.

Aaron

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Dave

That's right.

Ben

Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather have a Zamboni named after me than 10 bricks in the plaza. There's no way that conversion rate works.

Zuzana

Yeah. Yeah. I'll I'll

Aaron

be honest. Any number of bricks with my name on it doesn't move me a whole lot. Yeah.

Dave

Can you maybe sell me you could be selling bricks to your to your chill zone brick by brick. That way, you're sort of taking that big number and you're breaking it down for people.

Aaron

Oh, that is not the craziest thing I've ever heard.

Ben

You're just in the math on how big how big is my newsletter list? What's the conversion rate if I put this out there? How much do I need for the pool?

Aaron

I'm not kidding. I would totally pave my backyard in sponsored bricks. Oh, 100%. 100%. This is be a great idea.

Zuzana

Starter for your bricks.

Ben

Zuzanna, I'm gonna put you on the spot. How much would you pay for a brick in Erin's backyard?

Zuzana

Thing. I'm sorry. No. This doesn't doesn't do anything

Dave

from 0.

Zuzana

I'm sorry.

Aaron

What if it wasn't in August around when school starts? What if I did all of the fundraising in June? Would you pay for a brick in June?

Zuzana

No. It's close. I'm sorry.

Dave

Is there, is there, like, a a webcam that people can, like, watch? So when the construction's happening, people love to see, like, construction videos. Right? You could,

Zuzana

yeah.

Ben

You could sell ads

Aaron

on the web page.

Ben

The Zamboni. You could sell naming rights on the excavator Mhmm. Tooling around the backyard. Mhmm.

Aaron

Boy. Boy. Well, how do I play this brick thing to get people to give me money to build a swimming pool.

Zuzana

That's the Kickstarter. I'm telling you. Kickstarter. Just start people pay all sorts of money on Kickstarter. Go for it.

Ben

Not Suzanna.

Zuzana

Not people.

Aaron

No. Yeah. Yeah. Other people. Yeah.

Zuzana

I'm I'm not I'm not that stoked.

Aaron

That other people must do this. Yeah. What she's saying. This is a

Ben

I feel like you have to play up the kid angle a lot because that's already an important part of your brand. Mhmm.

Zuzana

Yeah. Mhmm.

Ben

And, like, help my kids

Zuzana

Yeah.

Ben

Realize their dreams of having a backyard pool. Not Right. My dreams, my children's dreams.

Dave

Yeah. Children's dreams. Yeah.

Ben

The apartment complex too far away can't get there.

Aaron

Right.

Dave

You don't want an unsafe pool.

Aaron

Right? No. Heaven forbid.

Dave

Not for the

Zuzana

So so are you collecting money for a lifeguard as well now? Or

Ben

Not that safe. I think in America, we just put a fence around it. We're like, that's the liability.

Dave

Well, I assume I I'm guessing even Texas, you have to put a a fence around a pool, but I don't know, man. It's little it's kinda lawless

Zuzana

down there.

Aaron

Even though. Yeah. You can shoot anyone you want, but you do have to have a you have to have a fence around your pool. I mean, we're come on. We're civilized.

Well, that's controlled

Ben

by the insurance.

Dave

Texas open carry? I should Google that. I gotta Oh, yes.

Ben

Absolutely. To open carry then. You can do

Aaron

your gun there.

Zuzana

If you

Aaron

don't carry a gun openly, you will get shot.

Dave

I have to mentally prepare myself for every time I go to a state that's open carry. Because I've been I've been up in you know, even though I I used to live in North Carolina, I went to high school in Oklahoma.

Zuzana

Mhmm.

Dave

I've been up here in in, you know, soft, you know, liberal Connecticut for so long, when I go to a place where there are guns more they're just more out in the open, I have to it's like such a shock to the system. I gotta prep myself.

Aaron

Some some may say that that's a reasonable response, but, I mean, who who am I to judge? To see a gun in public. Gun and be shocked, I think, is pretty that's the right thing, but maybe gun

Ben

when you're not at the gun range. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. Exactly. I honestly don't see terribly many people carrying ever. Yeah. That's good.

But, yeah, you can, like I think you can, like, walk around with a long gun just out.

Zuzana

Why would people carry it over your shoulder? Why?

Aaron

Why? These people are insane. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know.

Scared.

Dave

Of? Of what?

Zuzana

Other people carrying guns.

Aaron

Just like big trucks are some people's personality, guns are some people's personality. Don't know.

Dave

Yeah. Aaron, do you drive a big truck?

Aaron

I drive a 4 Runner.

Ben

That's a solid choice. Yeah.

Aaron

Solid choice.

Zuzana

No idea what that is. Anyway

Aaron

It's just a Toyota SUV.

Zuzana

S u I know what SUV is. Okay. Okay. I got some sort of image in my head now.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, Eric Barnes and I drive the same the same vehicle, both, 4 Runner.

Ben

Take turns?

Aaron

Or Yeah. It's tough because he's in North Carolina. So it's like not that useful, but we're saving a ton of money. Yeah. Right.

Sure. It's the shipping the car back and forth. That's where they really get you. Yeah.

Dave

You gotta find some sort of scheme where you're you're picking up in one location and dropping off in the other Exactly. The math work. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. And it's just I don't So

Ben

far not

Aaron

working. In North Carolina that often, so it makes it makes the logistics a little bit more difficult. I will say if we had, producer Dave's favorite topic, if we had tunnels where we could just ship cars underground

Zuzana

Sure.

Aaron

That'd be so much easier.

Ben

Do you still think the tunnel is a good idea? Just to clarify.

Aaron

I have actually evolved, and I think the tunnel is a great idea.

Zuzana

Okay. Great idea. Yeah.

Aaron

You would be like, I Gotcha.

Ben

Here in, the colder parts of the country Mhmm. It's not uncommon to have tunnels between buildings on college campuses. So, for example, University of Minnesota, Duluth is in a particularly cold spot. The students there will basically spend the winter in shorts because they the cafeteria, the classrooms, the dorms are all connected by tunnel. It may be dark at 4 PM and the sun may not rise until nearly 9 AM, But you can wear shorts

Aaron

all when it At least we don't have to go outside. Tunnels everywhere.

Ben

You can't put a car in them, but they are tunnel.

Dave

Ben, are they wearing flip flops?

Ben

I'm sure they are. Oh. Wouldn't you?

Dave

Now now Aaron's out. Aaron's out.

Ben

I'm out.

Aaron

I Imagine all those stinky toes clogging up the tunnel. That's disgusting.

Zuzana

Oh, you you are the one who wears shoes and toes. Right?

Ben

Have this thing about not having your dogs out. You should wear socks with slide sandals. I did not realize you were an undercover Gen Z operative here. What's going on?

Aaron

Yeah. I will. You know, I'm just young at heart. Here's the thing. Right.

Toes, specifically men's toes

Dave

Okay.

Aaron

Not great. Hideous, in fact. If unless

Ben

you are happy someone out of Riverside. How do you

Aaron

Unless you are actively falling into a body of water, as a man, your your toes should not be visible. I'm sorry.

Zuzana

So do you wear sandals or do you never wear sandals? And if you wear sandals

Aaron

wear sandals.

Zuzana

So you don't. If you did wear sandals, would you wear them with socks? Or you just never wear them?

Aaron

No. Because I would be at the beach about to get into the water.

Ben

So do you wear your shoes to the edge of the water and then put on your sandals? Or where what's the what's the point Mhmm. Where you are done with shoes? Like, the parking lot at the beach? The sand, the water.

Aaron

If I if I am in if I'm in swimming regalia, then I will I will maybe wear flip flops, like

Zuzana

Okay.

Aaron

To, you know, get out of the house into the car. But I have a swimsuit on, so I'm just

Ben

like to.

Aaron

I I have cover. You know? I'm like, hey, guys. I'm I'm about to I under I know the rules, but I'm about to be at the water. Mhmm.

Ben

For sure. Please avert your eyes.

Aaron

Yes. Don't don't look because I'm not there yet, and this is everyone's embarrassed, myself included. Let's just wait till we get to the beach.

Zuzana

I'd like to do Yeah. How about the pool at the apartment complex? Sorry. Go

Aaron

on. The pool at the apartment complex, I haven't actually gotten in yet, and so I've never I've never exposed my toes at the apartment for that reason. Yeah.

Zuzana

I wonder where this is stemming from. Like, where what's the origin of this?

Aaron

Have you ever seen a man's toes?

Zuzana

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Aaron

There you go. There's your answer.

Zuzana

But it's No.

Aaron

Horrifying. They're

Zuzana

not not that bad. I mean, maybe the European toast are different to the American toast. It could possible. I don't think I've ever seen American toast.

Aaron

Well, maybe maybe it is an American thing. Maybe there are more

Zuzana

So is it just the Aran thing or what Dave, Ben, what do you think about American male toads?

Ben

I work. I work in the soft summer.

Dave

It's fine. Yeah.

Zuzana

You don't have a issue.

Ben

I'm shameless, I guess. Uh-huh. I think Yeah. To bring it back to guns, really. Yeah.

Cool. It's like that. Right? Like, you in Europe, open carry, if you saw an open carry, if you saw a gun on someone, you would be freaking out.

Zuzana

Oh, yeah.

Ben

It's like Aaron's freaking out about dad toes. But in America, it's the opposite. Guns are cool or Texas. Guns are cool.

Zuzana

Toes are not.

Dave

Yep. Aaron, it's very interesting. Yeah. I have a business opportunity

Aaron

for you, though. Great. Better than the brakes because that one was pretty awesome. Unfortunately, it's it's

Dave

gonna test your resolve because if you're looking for funding opportunities, do you know how the Internet feels about toes? I'm just gonna I'm just gonna say

Aaron

Unfortunately, I I do know how

Zuzana

Yeah. Sure.

Aaron

Weirdos and perverts feel about toes. But, yeah, keep going. What else you got? Keep going. Please

Ben

don't. Please stop.

Dave

You can offer them, basically, toes that nobody has seen. Right? These aren't just toes

Zuzana

out there in

Dave

the world. Like, we're talking this is like an ultra rare, like, Pokemon card of toes that they are able to to pay a premium for. Right? These aren't everyday toes. You don't even wanna look at them yourself.

Aaron

I don't. Yeah. I haven't seen my toes in years. Yeah. That's interesting.

That is

Ben

a good idea.

Aaron

If you if you ever

Dave

You could just say bless my heart. It's okay. I understand.

Aaron

No. This is an interesting idea. It is very fun how different people can be. It if you ever see if you ever see me doing only feet, you know that things have gone totally sideways.

Zuzana

Sure.

Aaron

Yeah. So just if that would be a cry for help if I if I start posting about my only feet account.

Zuzana

Yeah. It's good to know. K. So so everyone, for all our 12 listeners, if anyone see Aaron showing his toes online, go and rescue him. Something's something surreal.

Ben

His kickstarter.

Zuzana

Yeah.

Dave

Also also a great way to to check, like, if you see that on his Twitter, somebody who knows him, check-in with him personally. He may have been hacked. He may have been abducted. All bets are off. Yeah.

It's good to know. 100%.

Aaron

The bricks is a still a much

Dave

better idea than bricks. A good idea.

Ben

Alright. Bricks is at the top of the more valuable. Idea. I wonder

Aaron

how I wonder what the economics of, like, getting a custom brick made are. Bricks.

Ben

Yeah. What's the fundraising margin

Zuzana

in that?

Dave

That's a good question.

Zuzana

Yeah. Hold on. I need

Aaron

to cost.

Zuzana

I need to go back to the toast. So I can't let it go. I

Dave

need just

Ben

to get this out.

Zuzana

I'm so sorry about it. So what do you do if you're on a plane and somebody takes their shoes and socks off next to you?

Ben

Okay. I

Dave

no. Oh, no. That's just Yeah.

Ben

That's a huge breach of etiquette.

Zuzana

Yeah. But people do that. I mean, I saw it on a plane, just the recent one I was on. Somebody I'm

Ben

so sorry.

Zuzana

Just so I wonder how would you react? Would you say something?

Aaron

Is when you have to summon all your powers of nonverbal communication and tell them exactly how you feel with a glance. That, like, that is the moment for staring through their soul. I don't know if I would say anything. Everybody's so crazy these days.

Zuzana

So that's about taking socks off. What about just taking shoes off? Is that acceptable? Or

Aaron

Still a breach of protocol.

Zuzana

Okay.

Aaron

Yeah. We're living in a society. You don't take your shoes off

Ben

on any of that space.

Zuzana

Yeah. Yeah. But some people like to work work barefoot. Like, so what do are you on the, like, no shirts, no shoes, no surf kind of thing?

Aaron

Yeah. There's a lot of things I like to do that just, you know, you can't really do in public. So, like, I'm sorry if you like to keep your shoes off while you work. That's great for at home or maybe your office where they allow that. But in an airplane?

I

Zuzana

I don't know. I'm just I've just seen many people, so I just wonder how how you would because I I don't have strong opinions. So I I see, I notice, and I move on. But seeing how passionate you are about this topic, I just wonder what would you do in that situation. Because it could potentially be very dangerous.

Aaron

To see things and notice it

Zuzana

and move on. Just the toes. Honestly, it's not not other things, but the toes. Toes.

Aaron

I don't know. I truly wouldn't say probably wouldn't say anything because people, especially on airplanes, are very on edge. And if some some bros

Zuzana

Tight planes.

Aaron

Yeah. If some bro is, like, confident enough to take his shoes and socks off, I don't really wanna, like, I don't really wanna poke the bear. You know?

Zuzana

Oh, so male toes

Ben

something going on. What about

Zuzana

female toes then? What about women toes? Are you more relaxed about that or still no no?

Aaron

Oh, so much more relaxed about it. I still don't think I would appreciate someone actively removing their socks and shoes on an airplane. Mhmm. Even if it was a woman, I'd be like, that feels a little familiar, doesn't it? But if a, you know, if a woman had on flip flops and she, like, flipped her feet out, it's like, I don't super care about that.

Dave

Yeah.

Aaron

That's I feel like that's totally different.

Zuzana

Okay.

Ben

For some reason, I don't think anyone should be wearing flip flops on an airplane. Like, I'll wear sandals anywhere, but not on an airplane. I guess I have shoes

Zuzana

for But sandals and flip flops are different, Charlie. Flip flops. Unless we talk are we talking about the same thing?

Dave

We use them kind of we use them kind of interchangeably in America.

Zuzana

So what what type of shoe are we talking about? Is it just the one with the thing in between the toes or like a scent

Aaron

Anything open toe.

Zuzana

Anything open toe is the same thing. Okay.

Ben

And those are more like sandalish

Aaron

or Chukas. Yeah. I agree. Chukas are the same. Anything open toes are not like a dress shoe that, you know, has a Okay.

A peak or whatever you call that for the toe.

Zuzana

A peak. Okay. I'm learning so much today. I didn't know there was I'm loving it.

Aaron

That that's technical. So don't say that Americans say that. Yeah. That's different.

Zuzana

Learning a lot about toes.

Dave

To become a a toe and shoe podcast apparently. This is wonderful.

Aaron

This is great news. Yeah. Because I don't know anything about cheese, so that's good.

Zuzana

So hold on. Back to cheese, do you mean you don't eat it? You don't like it? You don't eat it? Or you don't just, like, eat it, but you're not passionate about it?

Aaron

Oh, so that's

Ben

what got the invite on this podcast, actually. Yeah.

Zuzana

Okay. Okay.

Aaron

So here's a little Are

Ben

we talking one particular cheese? Break it down for us, please.

Aaron

We're talking we're talking, the field. There's, like, 2 or 3 cheeses that are that are good and reasonable and, like, right down the middle. Mhmm. You know, something like a cheddar. Like, give me a give me a cheddar, sharp cheddar.

That's great. But then you start getting into anything that kinda stinky or, like, soft or crumbly.

Zuzana

Yeah. No.

Aaron

Crumbly. Or anything where they're like, hey.

Zuzana

This is

Aaron

aged this is aged for 4 years, so it's all moldy. You're gonna love it. I'm like, what? What are you talking about? You just told me that cheese is moldy.

So I was in Boise last week, this week time. It's a flat circle. I was in Boise, and I was eating in the hotel restaurant, by myself, which is fun, not sad. I love it.

Dave

And I asked for some bread.

Ben

Ahead of the allegation. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. You were sad. Come on. Hey. Come on.

Don't bully me. So I asked for some bread because bread is good. And the guy came over and he's like, hey. We don't have any bread, so I brought you this instead. I'm like, oh, that's very thoughtful of you.

I appreciate that. It was this tray of olives Mhmm. Pimento cheese

Ben

Uh-huh.

Aaron

And, like, like candied jalapenos. And no bread like

Zuzana

No bread.

Aaron

3 or 4 packages of club crackers. And so I took I

Ben

took this

Aaron

tray of horrors and put it to the side and ate some club crackers until my Would

Ben

you have eaten anything? So you didn't eat any of those?

Aaron

Not at all. Options. Offline. Didn't touch it.

Ben

I wouldn't eat the cheese. I'm not a big fan of pimento cheese.

Zuzana

I don't

Dave

like pimento.

Zuzana

Which one is that?

Dave

Yeah. Which one is that?

Ben

Love all cheese here, Erin, but we show every cheese some dignity.

Zuzana

Well, what's wrong with olives? Olives are good.

Ben

Cheese, actually, cheese. Gross.

Zuzana

Oh, come on.

Dave

I knew I liked you for some reason, Aaron.

Ben

Yeah. Olives are coming down

Zuzana

at all. So olives, I used to don't like olives. I used to hate olives, but I thought it was very cool to eat them. So I ate enough to like them, and now I genuinely like them. So olives, I made myself like olives.

Because for some reason, I think I was influenced by American movies when you've got, like, a olives. Because back then, that was in Czech, and there weren't many. Like, olives are not native to Czech. So, you know, people don't normally eat olives, but I saw it in movies and I wanted to like them. Tried them a few times, they were horrible, but I persisted until I like them and now I like them.

So just saying, it's there's a hope

Dave

for you to Susana's Susanna's jersey with olives. A journey with olives sounds like, like a like an 18 year old kid's journey with beer where it's like, yeah. It's disgusting.

Aaron

But then the more I

Ben

But I saw an American movies that they were drinking.

Dave

And then I was like, yeah. Let's drink it. And then after a while,

Ben

it's like,

Dave

you know, I kinda like it. Yeah.

Aaron

Yeah. Exactly. See, I just don't feel, compelled for that to be a growth vector in my life. I don't like olives. Don't wanna like them.

Zuzana

Okay.

Aaron

Am happy just dogging them, and it's like, I'm not I'm not gonna get into olives. At this point, I'm not gonna get into olives.

Zuzana

Well, is there something that you would like to like? Maybe not olives, but is there something or you just if you don't like it or you like it, you don't care. But is there something you would like to like more than you like? Uh-huh. Too many likes.

Ben

That's good.

Dave

No aspirations.

Aaron

That's the right amount of likes. Yeah. Are we talking in life or in food?

Zuzana

Generally.

Aaron

Oh, I don't know what that means. Very deep. Generally

Zuzana

We could start with food if it's easier.

Aaron

Food? No. I am happy as could be.

Ben

That's locked in.

Aaron

Yeah. I am just thrilled to death about my choices. I will say one time I accidentally did not get the onions removed from a thing, and it was good.

Zuzana

Yeah. So do you like onions then?

Aaron

No. I wouldn't say that. But Okay. When I order these quesadillas from Mi Cocina, I no longer get the onions removed.

Zuzana

Okay.

Ben

And so Okay. That feels like growth.

Zuzana

That is

Ben

But you still wouldn't say you like maybe you like onions on quesadillas.

Aaron

Maybe I like whatever they're doing. They're very thin, and I think they they cook them separately, so they're a little crispier

Ben

Sounds delicious.

Aaron

Before they throw them into the quesadillas. We can go to Mico while y'all are here. Mico's great. So yeah.

Ben

I was hoping actually for some food recommendations for Laracon. Food and things to do. Yep. I went looking for the worst things to do in Dallas. Like, I scrolled into page 40 or so of TripAdvisor where things no longer have any ratings.

Yep. And first of all, they need to do some data cleanup. They have so much duplicate content and missing photos, miscategorized. So TripAdvisor get it together. But I found hiking yoga.

That seems like a great activity when it's 110 degrees.

Zuzana

Mhmm.

Ben

Or running tours. Sounds like a perfect time to do a running tour. See Dallas.

Zuzana

So I think Pilates is for Dave so he doesn't miss out.

Ben

I'm. Oh, I'm sure.

Dave

I've already got to I am doing Pilates when I'm there. Don't worry. How many times? Yeah.

Aaron

How many appointments? Just Tuesday.

Dave

Just Tuesday Thursday morning. Unfortunately, they are early. There's a club Pilates. I think it's like a 10 minute car drive from the hotel.

Aaron

So Nice.

Dave

Yeah. It's 5:30 in the morning, which I'm gonna regret, but that's okay.

Aaron

That sounds fun for you.

Zuzana

Oh, it's

Dave

gonna be great for me. Yeah. Very excited.

Zuzana

So is that something you would do, Aaron, then? Yeah. Aaron, you could

Dave

do some Pilates with me. That would be

Zuzana

I don't know. I just want some emotion. I just want something some something out of you. Like, you are very don't like it. Not gonna do it.

I want something from you. I wanna I don't know what I want.

Dave

Passion.

Zuzana

Passion. Yeah. But, I mean, he's passionate against something. So it's not passion what I'm looking for. It's I don't know.

Aaron

There are here's the thing. I am not a, I am not a maximizer in life. I'm not always I'm not always looking to, I'm not always looking for the absolute maximum. I am very happy, I think, in most cases at a local maximum. Maxima?

Maximum. Maxima.

Ben

Maximum.

Aaron

Maximum. I think when it's more than one, it's maxima. Yeah. So I am what you would call a satisficer. Meaning, when I find something that makes me happy, that's basic that's when I stop looking.

Dave

Okay.

Aaron

And there are people for whom when they find something that makes them happy, they continue to look for the thing that would make them the most happy. Okay. And this is like a very common I don't know if it's economics or, like, behavioral psychology or whatever, but it's a very common thing. Like, most people either fall into maximizers or satisficers. And so let's say with the the onions, for example, I've been having these quesadillas for years, and I've just thoroughly enjoyed them for many, many years.

And I've never once thought, I should try something new. Why would I try something new? Because I'm so happy. And then, you know, once you get you accidentally get the onions on there and you realize, hey. It's better with onions.

But here's the thing. 1, I didn't go seek that out. And 2, it doesn't diminish the amount of happiness I've had for the past 10 years. You know? It's just like, oh, now this is I'm satisfied with this, and I'm I'm very happy with that.

And so it's very uncommon, I think, in the, like at least in, like, the tech world to be like, oh, no. This thing works well enough, and I like it. So I'm just gonna keep using it. But it's very much like that is how my brain works. If I find something I'm happy with, I'm generally pretty happy.

Zuzana

That was very deep. I've got nothing to say. Okay.

Aaron

Oh, was that is that deep? You want it deep. Is that good?

Zuzana

Yeah. It was very good. Well done.

Aaron

Okay. Good.

Zuzana

I'm still looking

Ben

for some dream with something you're

Aaron

you want to

Ben

Deep down. More than you like?

Zuzana

Yeah. Well, I want to try more things, generally. I think I'm in a way I'm like Simpon. I wouldn't sound similar to Aron. No way.

In many, many ways.

Ben

No. Dirty with the foot thing.

Zuzana

No, I like, I wanna try more things, because I get comfortable, and maybe like you, if I like something, why try something else? But then when I do end up trying something else, I like it. And I think the danger is that you are, for me, I am I get too comfortable in what I'm doing, that I stop seeking new experiences and new things, whether it comes to food or activities or something. But every time when I do end up doing something new, I like it. So for me, it's, if it was up to me, I wouldn't try anything new because that's the safe and comfortable place to be.

But I I'm actively pushing myself to do new things. So like going to restaurant, I tend to go to the same places and have the same thing. And how did I end up having the thing in the 1st place? I just chose it randomly and I liked it and I keep having it. But who's to say that another thing wouldn't be even better?

I don't know. But I don't tend to choose the other thing because I'm happy eating the same thing. But I'm trying to actively make myself to choose something else. Yeah. Because I think it's good for me and, I think in life, generally, if you don't move forward there's no such a thing as standing still.

You either move forward or you move back. And if I don't I feel if I don't move forward even tiny bits, I will move back. Maybe it's wrong, I don't know. That's me. Silent.

No. No.

Aaron

I was

Ben

just thinking, like, where does that come from? I've thought of this recently about, like, moving on from your hometown. Like, sometimes I feel like there's this idea that you have to move off. And for transparency, I moved out of my hometown and then came back to my hometown. So part of that is a little bit of chip on my shoulder.

Like, it's it's fine. It's fine that I'm back in my hometown. My actual goal is to die in the same hospital I was born in so that my average velocity for my entire life will be 0. That's that's the ultimate goal. But in the meantime, I'm in my hometown and I was thinking about it recently.

Like, what is the benefit? Like, what's it? Why do we feel like we should go out and live in a different place and experience different things? Why is that superior to remaining in the same spot? And I think it's the same idea of like, why is it better?

Why do we feel a motivation either? I think it's mostly from ourselves that we should be trying new experiences. We should be doing new things, trying a new dish at a restaurant or a new thing that we're not doing. I'm not disagreeing with that, but it's I was curious about the motivation behind it and why do we feel that that pressure to do it?

Zuzana

Probably FOMO. Like, I think if you don't try it, you're missing out on something.

Dave

Mhmm.

Zuzana

So I think that plays a role, which doesn't sound very good for me, does it? Oh, well. It's okay.

Aaron

I'll I'll I'll save you. There's there's also a there's a potential second reason that Susanna probably feels as well. It's not really the FOMO for me. Like, in terms of going to a restaurant and getting something new, I'm never gonna do that. As long as I'm still happy with the thing that I'm getting, I'm never gonna try something new because I know that I will be happy when I order the quesadillas.

Mhmm. Now there are times, of course, when I'm like, you know what? I'm not feeling the quesadillas, and and then I'm gonna try something different, but for the most part, right down the middle. Now when it comes to life experiences, I feel like, I want more out of life than the standard path allows for. And so that's why in terms of, like, doing things, I continue to do as many things as I possibly can because I don't want I don't want to live a life where I'm like, I wish I had done more.

Now there are people for whom working an a regular 9 to 5 and going home and, you know, watching TV all night makes them really happy. I have to assume that those people exist. That is just not what I want out of my life, and I don't begrudge the people who want something different, but I want something, like, much bigger and grander than that out of life. But that is, like, not incompatible with getting the same thing at a restaurant over and over and over. Like, I think in some areas, I know that the thing that I have always had will make me happy, I e quesadillas.

And in other areas, I'm like, I want my life to be this grand adventure, so I'm gonna do new things and try bigger things. And, it's less FOMO for me and more, like, fear of future regret. So Yeah.

Zuzana

Oh, I think that's nice way to put the fear. Yeah. I think that's nice.

Ben

And you're not going to regret not trying that crumbly, malty cheese. That's No.

Zuzana

That's just not okay.

Aaron

No. No. I don't I don't think I don't think I will.

Zuzana

I think you need to have some sort of balance. So if you you're pushing yourself in other areas, then you need to have some safe space, which maybe in your case is food, something that you know will make you feel good, and you don't have to you can, like, relax like this comfy pair of socks you slip into. That's that's the food, mate, I'm discussing. Like, for you that Mhmm. You are experimenting and possibly risking things in other areas of your life.

So food is the place that you just wanna not risk and not think and just do the thing that, you know, eat the thing you like.

Aaron

Yeah. I like that.

Dave

Yeah. I think that's Let's

Ben

wrap that.

Dave

I think that makes sense. Just like some people, they've decided fashion, they're just gonna, like, wear the same kinds of clothes. Like, they're not gonna remember. But for other people, they might be super simple for what they eat, but they have decided fashion is how they're going to be adventurous. Like, you know, I think people ideally have at least one thing, but maybe you don't wanna be, like, super adventurous in

Aaron

every single aspect of your life.

Dave

Like, you need something to anchor you down from.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. And, like, I like being at home. You know, some people are like, I just have to travel 6 times a year. And I don't have I don't have that bug.

I'm like, man, I love being at home. Love it so much. And, you know, in other ways, I am way more adventurous than many people, but in a lot of ways, I'm way more, conservative.

Zuzana

This has become really, really deep. Need to log in

Aaron

to about

Ben

your slug problem, Susan. Can I pull it out for a second?

Zuzana

Slugs. Do you have slugs in

Dave

still around?

Zuzana

No. It's quite hot now, so I haven't seen them. Maybe at night, but not during today.

Ben

Slug in the state of Texas.

Zuzana

Yeah. I was gonna ask, do you

Dave

have we've

Zuzana

got slugs?

Aaron

Yeah. We've got slugs.

Zuzana

What sorts of do you have, like, the brown ones or the black ones? How big are they?

Aaron

Medium. And I don't know what color they are. Does that help?

Zuzana

I don't know. I'm just wondering.

Ben

So you're saying you have slugs, but you can't describe them in any way.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. So Yep.

Dave

I'm on the, I'm on the Texas Invasive Species Institute website.

Zuzana

Of course you are, Dave.

Dave

There's apparently something called the yellow garden slug. I would describe this more as brownish maybe, but

Zuzana

sure.

Dave

It's like 3 to 4 inches.

Zuzana

I am not gonna Google that. That's huge. Wanna

Ben

That at anywhere in the world, a 4 inch slug is invasive. I don't care where you're from.

Aaron

Go Texas. That's awesome.

Dave

Well, Texas also has the giant garden slug. 62 more than 8 inches. That's that's a large Woah.

Aaron

Using using my dad measurement here, that's about that big. That's huge.

Dave

Yeah. It's a good size.

Zuzana

Sorry about the noise. I was just trying to well, how did you how many inches did you ruler? No. I'm trying. Yeah.

I think she's bringing out a program. In centimeters. Do a

Aaron

bunch of geometry.

Zuzana

Hold on. Hold on. Centimeters.

Aaron

It's impossible to say.

Ben

It'd be about Well, it's like centimeters.

Dave

8 yeah. 8 inches is, like, 20 centimeters.

Zuzana

Oh, that's too much. No. No. So the ones we have here

Ben

Can you imagine that thing walking around? 11. That thing doesn't slide. That thing Yeah.

Aaron

No. Not nice. It walks.

Zuzana

We have,

Ben

like, 1 inch long slots here in

Zuzana

1 inch? No. That's tiny. We've got bigger ones.

Aaron

Yeah. One four. That's

Ben

They look harmless. I don't I don't I'm sure an 8 inch slug is harmless, but it it doesn't feel like it.

Zuzana

No. We had lots of slugs this year. There were, like, invasion of slugs. I don't know why. They said because the weather was kind of mild, but yet, wet enough for them to come out.

And it was just about a month ago, was it? I just went out at the dusk, like, in the evening, and there were slacks everywhere. I'm not saying it was just that one night. It's just that night I went out. There were slacks on the ground, on the walls, there were every like, it was I'm not saying 1, 2, 3.

I like tens and tens of slacks everywhere. And then I heard my neighbor, like, sweeping her yard. I was like, what is she doing? And she was, yeah, she was sweeping the slacks away. And because I was I told her, have you seen because we've got, like, this shared path behind our house.

I said, have you seen them? She said, yeah. They're they're terrible. They're everywhere. And she was swiping, sweeping, sweeping the yard.

And you could see them, like, when she ended on one end, started on one end and came towards me. And then they started coming back. Like, there's no stopping them. Anyway, it was like from a horror movie. It was horrible.

And then I think it was right the next day or 2 days later, my daughter, she 14 year old daughter, she went on a school trip. It was the end of the school, and they went on a school trip. And about 1 o'clock in the in the afternoon, I got a message. Mommy, there is a freaking slack in my shoe. I was like, in your shoe?

I said, like, how what? You've just noticed? She said, yeah. It's been there the whole day. And she only noticed at 1 o'clock because she went it must have moved and tickled her toes.

I don't know. She went

Aaron

she went horrible. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose.

Dave

Please. Please. Log off.

Aaron

Toes are basically slugs. But to have an actual

Zuzana

slug on

Aaron

your toe.

Zuzana

No. It's not nice. No. And she said she sat down and she she couldn't believe at first. And she just looked in her shoe and she started like screaming.

And the teachers came over, what's wrong? What's wrong? And then she said, there's a slug in my shoe. I said, slug? What are you talking about?

And then, but there is a slug in your shoe. So she had a slug in her shoe, must have gone in overnight. She put the shoes on in the morning, went until 1 pm, put a slug in her shoe, and only then shook it out. By that point, I think it was pretty much dead, but then she had the slime

Aaron

out of the gooey thing. Wish it's Yeah.

Zuzana

She did. Yeah. So she yeah. So it has socks wet the socks wet. I think she tried to wash her socks in the toilet there.

She put tissues down because she had to put

Aaron

the shoe back on. Worse. You don't wash in the toilet. Do you

Ben

mean toilet or like bathroom?

Zuzana

No. No. Bathroom. It's in the sink in the bathroom.

Aaron

Just a drink.

Zuzana

Oh, okay.

Ben

Yeah. The translation.

Aaron

I was gonna say, this this feels like a early 2000 comedy movie where, like, you have a bad thing and then you make it worse. Yeah.

Zuzana

No. No. No. Oh, luckily, I don't know.

Aaron

Been a while. She had to

Zuzana

put the shoe back on. So she was not happy. And she said and I think, do I remember it correctly? She went to a chocolate factory. Was it the chocolate factory today?

So they have, like, at the end

Ben

of the Where?

Zuzana

Kinda. They have at last week of school here, they do activities every every day of the week. And so every day, there was a trip. And I think that was the trip that she went to the chocolate factory. So she said she was having a lovely only a week.

A different trip. I can't remember. But anyway, she said she was having a lovely day until the point said she found a slug in her shoe. So that's my Slack story. It's horrible.

I mean, they're horrible.

Ben

I think that's a universal experience. I was having a lovely day until I found the slug in my shoe. That would be true for anyone.

Aaron

That transcends.

Zuzana

And I think the Are you a martial

Ben

predator for slugs like birds? Do they who who who's controlling the slugs?

Zuzana

I have no idea.

Ben

How do you introduce more of them?

Zuzana

I don't know. I mean, there are ways to kill them, but we've got animals. I mean, we've got cats, so we can't use anything toxic. And the one safe or safe, sure thing to kill them is to put salt on them. They will all shrivel up and die.

But you can't go and put salt all over your garden. Like, you can't do that. Right. And then we tried other things like eggshells that apparently, when they, like, slide on the eggshells, it will cut them up. But no.

We saw slugs with egg shells on their bags, and they were happily moving around.

Aaron

I think he got bamboozled on

Ben

that one. Razor blades into the garden.

Zuzana

That's cool. Copper also, I think copper. They don't like copper, but what I mean, what what how do I get

Ben

I've seen people electrify their garden beds. Like, are these garden beds? Gonna

Zuzana

say. The

Aaron

mobile fence wires.

Zuzana

Yeah. But I've got the animals. I know.

Ben

Think of the cats. I I don't think the cats would trigger it.

Aaron

They just jump over it.

Ben

But as the slug crawls over the 2 conductors

Zuzana

Maybe. That's

Ben

what I need

Zuzana

to do.

Ben

And They get a little zap. I don't think it kills them. I think it

Aaron

just keeps them

Zuzana

It keeps them away from your And

Ben

some people,

Zuzana

I think

Ben

I'm just make it. Yeah. If you if you really went for it,

Zuzana

you could kill the slugs. Yeah. I think some people use beer. Apprentice likes like beer, and they put beers in, like, little pots, and they climb in and drown. So I've never tried I heard I heard that that might work, but I what I don't really want to do is in the morning, open the door and find, like, a bucket of beer full of slugs.

So that I don't wanna handle that, so I'm not gonna do that.

Ben

I think you have to move. This is it.

Zuzana

No. It's not. No. I've asked. It's not just this place.

Mhmm. Never. Then you've got guns.

Ben

Have you ever woken up and found slugs in your shoes?

Aaron

No. Never. Okay. So

Ben

Texas is safe, Dave?

Aaron

Texas is safe, and I can point to 5 other states on the map where you could live. But beyond that, you're

Ben

on your own. Alright. That's settled.

Zuzana

Yeah. So that's my spot. There are

Aaron

parts of Texas where you have to check your shoes for scorpions before you put them on. Yeah.

Zuzana

It's a Dallas style one of

Aaron

those parts.

Zuzana

Yeah. What animals do you have that are unpleasant slash dangerous in Texas?

Aaron

Oh, unpleasant slash dangerous. So I was gonna say we've got the normal ones, cats and dogs and birds and stuff.

Zuzana

That's not unpleasant nor dangerous.

Aaron

Unpleasant slash dangerous.

Zuzana

Do you have snakes?

Aaron

We we do have snakes. Yeah. We have pretty good pretty pretty good snakes. Water moccasins are a kind of a bigger deal.

Zuzana

Are they dangerous?

Ben

Keep them up. Cool.

Aaron

Yeah. Pools, creeks, ponds, all of that. It can be pretty dangerous.

Zuzana

Like, what do they do? Bite or or suffocate? What do they do?

Aaron

Pretty sure water moccasins bite.

Ben

Yeah. They're venomous.

Zuzana

Okay. That's not nice.

Ben

And they

Aaron

can get they can get to be quite large. Once you get a little bit further out, we've got, like, bobcats and cougars and foxes and stuff like that. Sometimes you'll see, like, on a residential, like, message board, like, hey. It is has anyone seen my cat? I know there's a cougar that's been wandering around recently, and you're like, oh.

Zuzana

Oh, no. I think

Aaron

your cat might be donezo. So you'll see that occasionally, but beyond that, we don't have a lot of exotic stuff, at least not, you know, around here in the city. I'm trying to think even out even out in the country.

Zuzana

Do you have bears? I was gonna ask them. You don't have bears?

Aaron

No. We don't have we don't have bears. Big cats, I think, are probably our fiercest predator, if I had to guess. Yeah. I I don't know.

I see Spiders?

Zuzana

How big are spiders?

Aaron

We've got spiders. Yeah. We've got a lot of spiders.

Zuzana

How big?

Aaron

Could could be anything, but, like, you know, small palm size.

Zuzana

Like, that's including the legs or that's just the body?

Aaron

That would be including the legs. Body would be, you know, an inch or 2 inches

Zuzana

Other than those are the meaty ones?

Aaron

I don't yeah. I don't really see those, like, in the house Okay. Ever. We're kinda like Australia light. Like, we've got snakes.

We've got spiders. We've got scorpions, but honestly, not a lot in the city. And then we don't have the crazy stuff like they have. Like, we don't have crocodiles and alligators and, you know, stuff like that.

Zuzana

Okay. I don't think I've asked this question to Ben or Dave. Like, do you have any? What are your dangerous slash weird animals in where you live? Do you have anything?

Dave

Spiders, snakes, bears.

Zuzana

Bears are not dangerous. Anyway, what about your snake?

Aaron

You're crazy.

Zuzana

No. Bears are cute and fluffy, and there's nothing you can say to convince me otherwise.

Dave

We've got some coyotes.

Aaron

Yeah. Coyotes. Yep.

Ben

But they have very little bugs. Poisonous or venomous. Yeah. We have black bears. I'm gonna disagree with Dave and Aaron.

They are not gonna give you trouble. They'll get into your bird feeder. That's about it. Disagree. But, yeah, nothing to worry about.

We don't have I don't even think we have we might have 1 or 2 species of venomous snake. We don't have any poisonous spiders or venomous spiders. We're good to go up here. Yeah. So their plugs are tiny.

Aaron

I looked up dangerous animals in Texas. Scorpions, rattlesnakes, brown recluse spiders.

Dave

Oh, those are really those are really bad. Yeah.

Aaron

Those are bad. Cotton mouth snakes, feral pigs made the list, which are

Zuzana

a thing outside of

Ben

30 40.

Aaron

Outside of cities. 30 to 40. That's why we have the, AR fifteens for the 30

Ben

to 40 open pigs. Exists Yep. Exactly. City of Dallas.

Aaron

Armadillos, which I'm sorry. Dangerous. That's not dangerous at all. They're everywhere. That's a whole new era everywhere.

Zuzana

And then holidays.

Ben

Okay. The rest of this list is immediately suspect. If they put Water bottle since

Aaron

Yeah. That's about it.

Ben

I actually looked up water bottle

Aaron

since Deer are not dangerous. No. Deer. Deer. Mountain lions mountain lions and cougars.

Dave

I'll stay away. Yeah. I'm gonna stay to I'm gonna stay to a city environment when I am in Dallas.

Aaron

Yeah. Just keep walking under the underpass. You won't find anything.

Ben

That'd be good.

Zuzana

I should have checked, like, before I went to Nashville. Does Tennessee have any dangerous species? What do they have?

Dave

Well, we saw we saw the bear.

Zuzana

That's not dangerous. Come on. Next. Next.

Aaron

I think bears I'm sorry. I think Tennessee has big cats too. I think they've got cougars and mountain lions and stuff like that.

Zuzana

Oh, it's so interesting.

Aaron

Also known mountain lion. Also known as a cougar, panther, puma, catamount.

Zuzana

Oh, is that what it is? I saw there are different things. Yeah. It's what it says. Woah.

Okay. So they're like a black cat.

Aaron

Remote areas of West Texas. Mhmm.

Dave

That's like a different state altogether, though.

Aaron

Oh, fully. Yeah. One that's on this list that is not funny because it's dangerous, but it's funny is, brain eating amoebas.

Zuzana

Oh. Wow.

Aaron

So and and flesh eating bacteria. So we've got we've got all kinds of little guys too. So I think the problem, the problem with brain eating amoebas and flesh eating bacterias, well, the problem is they they eat the

Dave

Sure. Yep.

Aaron

Which is bad. Sure. The rather the, occasion from which they arise is warm water. And so this is one thing I was looking at when I was looking at digging my own pool, which is probably on hold, is

Zuzana

if

Aaron

you don't, like, if you dig, like, a natural pool slash pond and you don't treat it, like, you're treating it with, you know, natural means like plants and stuff, and it gets too warm, then these brain eating amoebas can just, like, boom, flourish out of nowhere if the water house.

Dave

How

Zuzana

or how

Aaron

do they get in the dark? Literally.

Zuzana

So, no, these are

Aaron

I think they're microscopic. So you don't microscopic.

Dave

That's the terrifying part.

Ben

Yeah. You don't see be anywhere.

Zuzana

But then Yep. That only in the water, so you can only get infected in the water, or can they, like, can you get it elsewhere? Yeah. Only So listen to this.

Aaron

Have you guys ever done a neti pot? Yes.

Dave

I know what it is, but I

Ben

don't I I don't do it. Do that here from sinuses.

Aaron

This is the insane thing where you heat up a pot of water and you pour it in your nose. And so, anyway, so here here we'll we'll get to that. The that's that's foreshadowing.

Ben

I love the idea

Zuzana

of self curing that.

Ben

You pour it in your nose.

Aaron

And Yeah. This this thing is called a nigleria, a brain eating amoeba. A nigleria enters your body through the nose and shimmies into your skull where it plays around in your brain destroying the tissue. This amoeba can also strike when you use contaminated tap water to flush your sinuses, comma, f y I. So when the neti pot is like, whatever you do, make sure you use distilled or boiled water.

It's because you don't want flesh eating bacteria in your brain.

Ben

Imagine being the one who put it in there. Like, you're the fool who did the put the amoeba directly into your brain.

Zuzana

So once they are there, how'd you get them out? Is that that's it?

Aaron

Yeah. I don't know.

Ben

You

Aaron

It says it is extremely serious and almost always fatal, so I don't think you get it out. I think it's the old way. Can you just tell us the URL

Ben

that you're reading here? This does not sound very scientific to me. Texasmonthly.com/travel/12

Aaron

dash most dash dangerous dash creatures dash in dash Texas

Zuzana

dash. I

Ben

mean, it's not a scientific journal, but it's not like crap.

Aaron

But it's not, yeah, it's not like dotblogspot.com. It's it's a real Texas Monthly is actually a reputable magazine here in, here in old Texas.

Zuzana

Maybe don't go swimming in open waters then when it's cold. Swimming in

Aaron

open water in the middle of the summer Yeah. Might might be bad.

Zuzana

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Ben

Don't put it in your in your nose.

Aaron

Yeah. That's another good one.

Zuzana

Or it

Ben

might shimmy shimmy

Aaron

into the brain.

Zuzana

What does shimmy mean? I

Ben

think shimmy was the word I was really

Zuzana

not doing. What is shimmy? What is the movement when you shimmy? I wish people saw that. Like, little shoulder shit.

Yeah. I wish people could see that. Should do, like, a I don't

Ben

know what you call it in the Queen's English, but, yeah, that's what we I don't know.

Zuzana

Like, I never claimed I could speak English, Queens or otherwise. So, you know, I'm just winging it.

Aaron

Bacteria stuff is crazy. Gotta

Dave

get Yeah. Now you're down a rabbit hole. I gotta close that

Ben

browser tab. Close that tab, man.

Zuzana

Let's talk about cheese.

Aaron

Apparently, 2 guys died at a beach in July from the flesh eating bacteria this year.

Dave

Nope. Nope. Nope. No.

Aaron

I don't think it kills you that fast.

Zuzana

Oh,

Ben

command shift t. Get back to

Zuzana

the Yeah.

Ben

Those fears.

Zuzana

Let's talk about cheese

Aaron

1 in That's another reason. To Texas a and m. Hell, yeah. Texas a and m. That's where I went to school.

According to Texas a and m College of Medicine professor, this guy, between 712100 people contract necrotizing fasciitis every year. 1 in 3 of those people will die as did 2 men at a Texas beach in July. Wow. And this was published in October of 2019, so it's a couple years old. But they it still happened.

Ben

So No. Thank you.

Zuzana

So I hope you all have fun in Texas during the lockdown.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Come to Texas. It's great here.

Ben

Maybe this will be the affliction of this edition of Lyricon. It's gonna be flesh eating bacteria.

Aaron

First than whatever happened in India. Yeah. Oh, man.

Dave

And, Aaron, you are you are serving as the the emcee? I am.

Aaron

The master of ceremonies.

Dave

Master of ceremonies. Excellent. Or you will be available to give people advice on local places they can buy cheese, olives. Sure.

Aaron

Yeah. For sure.

Zuzana

Yeah. Cheese, olives, and Fauna and florums.

Dave

Yeah. Nuts.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. Yeah.

I'm super excited. The only time I've ever been to the factory was to see Casey Musgraves, and that was back when it was the bomb factory.

Ben

Mhmm.

Aaron

And that was the last standing room only concert I went to because I realized I'm too old for this.

Dave

You made a business decision, and you decided, no.

Ben

I'm not doing that anymore. My parents will see you will

Aaron

no longer be standing.

Dave

That's right. That's right.

Aaron

But Excellent. Cool venue.

Dave

Yeah. That's great. And, As long

Ben

as you don't have to stand the whole time.

Aaron

As long as you don't have to stand. Yeah.

Dave

Yeah. The whole time.

Ben

Except for Aaron's talk as a sign of respect, please. Yes. Anytime Aaron's on stage, not talk, but any time he's on stage. Anytime Aaron stands

Aaron

out of due respect, please.

Dave

Please stand for Aaron Francis. I think that's. Yeah.

Ben

Yeah. Yeah. You actually have, what are the people who go ahead of you? Like the Herald who walks into the room and then announces, please stand. It's like when the president walks into a room or the king or queen.

Aaron

Or the speaker of the house or something. Isn't that who does it? Who comes in and shouts?

Zuzana

The president is actually in

Aaron

the States.

Dave

So I I understand why that would make sense. That's because he's

Ben

actually speaks. Sure.

Aaron

But in the house,

Dave

those are 2 separate titles. There's the guy who does the thing, and the speaker of the house is actually totally separate.

Aaron

So Oh, okay. Got it. I thought it was, like, the the main guy who speaks in the house.

Ben

No. No. Thanks for the civics lesson, Dave. What's the show of this guy who yells it out?

Dave

He's the guy who yells it out. I don't know. And, you know, actually, from what I hear, it's a pretty plum patronage position. I didn't mean to do a little trick.

Aaron

Have to have

Ben

a good voice, but if

Dave

she got it, she got it. Yeah. Gig.

Ben

Yeah. I wonder if there's a I

Aaron

guess that's true because doesn't he announce it to the speaker of the house? Like, when he walks in, does he say, madam speaker, the president? Isn't that what he does?

Dave

Something he says something like that. He's introducing it. Yeah. I don't think he's having a wonderful sales. To do it.

Like, the State of the Union, and then there's any other special addresses to congress, and I think that's kind of it.

Ben

Wow. And that's a thing. He might be available.

Dave

He could be potentially available.

Aaron

I don't know when the state of the union is, but I can't imagine it's State of the

Dave

union is is it is in January typically, so I think or February, so you're fine. Yeah.

Zuzana

He's he's

Ben

he's got a good time.

Zuzana

His voice is rested. He he'll be rested. Yeah. Well rested.

Ben

This is a great idea. A great idea. Absolutely. If only we could figure out a way

Dave

to to sync this up with the people

Aaron

paying for

Zuzana

bricks idea, you'd really be on to something.

Aaron

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dave

Maybe he could do shorts. Anytime someone buys a brick, he could announce their name

Aaron

we can do it online.

Dave

Oh. Like, like, sort of cameo, but for Aaron That's

Aaron

the right. Upsell.

Ben

That's actually

Aaron

Uh-huh. Upsell.

Ben

Yeah. If you wanna

Aaron

This feels a lot like when, Jim tricked Dwight into garden party etiquette, and he said it's the height of decorum to loudly announce your guests as they enter, and so Dwight shouts everybody's name. I feel like this is the same thing.

Dave

Do you do you get to choose, sort of your walk up music, Aaron, at Laracao?

Aaron

I don't know. I'll I'll I'll be honest. Yeah. I've gotten exactly zero instruction as to what's happening Yeah. Which is, you get to make it up then.

Ben

No. You get to define how it's supposed to go. You get to

Aaron

be the one to snatch you. Last year Yeah. Before having spoken to Taylor about anything about the schedule and the vibe or anything like that. And so I just showed up in Nashville. I was like, hey.

I'm still doing this. Right? He's like, yeah. Of course. You're still doing this.

Why would you? And I'm like, okay. Sounds good because I was wondering. So, yeah, I imagine I won't know anything until

Dave

Until you're there.

Aaron

Tuesday or the Monday before. Yeah.

Zuzana

Yeah. Yeah. So are you preparing the little things you have to say for each speaker beforehand, or you're just gonna do it on the spot on the day?

Aaron

No. I'll I'll prepare them beforehand.

Zuzana

I wonder, how do you prepare them? So how what is your process?

Aaron

Well, last year so last year in Nashville, I, you know, prepared the same kind of thing, and that was, again, just like, I felt like that's what a speaker would want. That's what I would want as a speaker. And I have a I have a definite eye towards, like, towards the show. And so part of me wanted, to make sure that there was no, like, dead stage time and no time for people to be like, well, I guess I'll go I'll just get out of here for a little bit because they're switching over computers and stuff, and I wanted to, like, keep the thing going. And so the introductions served 2 purposes.

1 to, like, hype the speaker because the last thing that anyone wants to do is get up there and be like, guys, you should listen to me because I'm really smart. I promise. And so that's my job. Right? So my job is to go out and say, y'all should listen to this person because they're smart, and we love them, and they're good at stuff, and look how smart they are.

And then they get to come out and be like, oh, stop. No. Not me. But still we get to tell everybody, hey. These people are extremely qualified, and I'm gonna hype them up because that's my job.

And it also helps give the AV crew time to, like, switch over laptops and everything without having without having any, like, weird, awkward dead space. And especially not having to keep a speaker on stage and, like, stress their nerves while the room is silent and, like, listen. I can handle that. I can get out there and vamp. If I fail, That's just funny.

But you're about to give a talk. And if you get up there and try to start doing a stand up routine to keep the crowd entertained while they're switching over your laptop, like, that's a whole lot of pressure. And so, the process is basically I just sit down with a list of speakers and start looking up their Twitter bios and, you know, seeing what I know about them or don't know about them. What and then I'll I'll I'll message them and be like, hey. What do you want me to highlight?

Because this is your chance for, like, a free pass. You get to brag through me, so tell me what you want me to to brag about. Mhmm. So that's kinda like a service to them.

Zuzana

That's nice. And you mentioned when you mentioned that that time on the stage, I actually I was an emcee for PHP Verona Day last year. So PHP Day in Italy. Don't know why they asked me because I've never done anything like that before. Anyway, the problem there was that they also they were also live streaming it.

So when I introduced the speaker, that there was about how long was it? Maybe a minute gap where I wasn't supposed to say anything significant because that's when the online intro would be playing. So

Aaron

Oh, yeah.

Zuzana

I was like, there was this I had I can't remember how long it was. Time on stage before after I introduced the speaker, before they could say anything or before I could even say anything. So the first couple of times, I was like, oh, this is awkward. So what am I gonna say? And then I started saying jokes.

Terrible, terrible jokes. But I was I would Google them just before I went on stage. It's not that I know that many jokes. But then I got the audience to say jokes as well. So it was like and it was 2 days full of there was a 2 day conference.

So by the end of the day 2, I think people are fed up with the jokes. But it was really difficult to say anything else. In such, it was too short, yet too long to just be quiet, but too short to say anything, you know, of value. So Mhmm. There were a lot of jokes.

I don't think I'll be invited back again, but it was a good experience. Say that's

Aaron

probably that's probably why they picked you because you're good on your feet. And, like, some feeling dead air is tough,

Zuzana

and the fact that you're not getting that's great. So and that's just a suggestion. If there is anything, just say jokes. You know? Google them.

Use chat g p t. That has terrible jokes, but people will laugh most likely. So just say jokes.

Aaron

Yeah. I, last year, I made up some questions. I I tried to, like, solicit audience questions, but they were few and far between. I may do a little more effort, this year up front about getting people to join the Telegram chat and then, like, try to pull questions out of there because it's kinda like you can kill the dead space in 2 directions. You can have the previous speaker stay on stage, and, like, you can ask them some questions while the AV is, like, taking their laptop away.

And then while they're putting the new person's laptop on, you can, like, do the intro and all of that. You can kinda split the dead air in half that way. But, yeah, getting questions from the audience last year was kind of a bust, and I'm gonna try harder this year to do that.

Zuzana

I think engaging the audience, it's I I enjoy it. Like, I did that, I think, most of the talks, maybe not the one in Nashville, but I gave a talk in London, the Laravelife, and then I, by chance, gave a talk, short one. And there was a meet up in Jordan this year, the first meet up in Amman, Jordan, which is weird because I happen to be there. Anyway, so I gave a short talk there. And, again, I kind of feel when you just stand there in front, you talk at people.

That's not my style, so I like to involve them. I don't not everyone likes it, but I treat it like I stand there like a teacher asking students, like, come on. Tell me something. Like, I like to ask questions. And it seems to have worked for me so far.

And it's different, like, when you talk about Laravelife or even the the Aman meets up and then Laracon US when you've got I don't know how many people are coming.

Aaron

Many 900?

Zuzana

900. Yeah. So that might be a little bit more difficult to get anyone. Even if they do shout out, like, how are you gonna hear them properly? But, yeah, I like to engage the audience because it's it's fun.

And I yeah. I like to be engaged as well as I if I'm part of the audience. So I don't just sit there and watch somebody talk at me.

Aaron

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. It'll be fun. And, the last last year was the first time I'd ever done it.

So I'm right there with you, Susanna. That was my that I'm I I just asked if I could do it, and Taylor's like, sure you can do it. So we're same same page there.

Zuzana

Oh, I don't know how they go. They I think this, PHP Verona, they send me or the organizer, they send me an email saying, oh, you know, can you do an emcee? First of all, I had to Google what a emcee is. I had no idea. I was like, what are they asking me to do?

I said, oh, emcee is the person who speaks at conference. Oh, it stands for master of ceremonies. I had no idea. And then I asked them, like, why me? And they said, oh, they heard great things about me.

By by that point, I only gave one talk in Laracon EU, my first ever talk. So it's not like they see me give talks. So, like, maybe the Larval Laracon online, maybe, but that show that tells you nothing about what you are like in front of a real audience. So I think, to be honest, I think they confused me with somebody. But what am I going to question?

And what am I taking? Exactly. I just said yes. Anyway, because I'm I don't think anyone nobody could have recommended me because nobody saw me do anything like that before. I didn't do anything like that before.

So how could have anyone recommended me? So, anyway, well, I said yes. It was fun. But, yeah, it was an interesting experience. I was like, what is an emcee?

Who who is an emcee? So it's like the DJ?

Aaron

Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Seacrest and Mario Lopez. Those are MCs.

Zuzana

So now I know. But it's fun. I think it's more oh, well, it's fun. It's more, I think it's more fun than giving a talk, but it's also more exhausting.

Aaron

Way more fun.

Zuzana

But it's more exhausting. You have to be on your toes the 2 days.

Aaron

I love being on my toes. Don't love showing them, but I love being on them. Yeah. Absolutely.

Zuzana

Oh, we should say, Aaron, you have to show your toes.

Aaron

No. No way. No. No. I I love I love being up there and be it like, having to come up with stuff on the fly.

I think that's fun. Yeah.

Zuzana

But for 2 days, I found it really mentally exhausting. Like Yeah. You can't switch off. You always have to be there. That

Dave

is true.

Zuzana

Case something goes wrong, you have to be ready to hop on the stage and do this.

Aaron

Case somebody ends their talk 10 minutes early, which happened last year, and

Zuzana

I was like, ugh,

Aaron

I'm not ready for this. A lot

Ben

of time. Yeah.

Zuzana

It was a lot of early. It wasn't me, was it? No. I don't think It

Aaron

wasn't me. No. So I have a funny wrong person's story if if we wanna if we wanna end here. Sure.

Zuzana

Sure.

Aaron

So you've mentioned they thought you were somebody else. One time one time we hired, we we hired a babysitter to come over, and this was, like, several years ago. So we just have the 2 kids. They're quite young, and we're like, okay. We're gonna we're gonna, like, get out of the house.

We're gonna get a babysitter. So my wife texted, our babysitter that we use often named Molly. Molly is the daughter of 1 of our church friends, and Molly's maybe, you know, 14, 15, good babysitter. So the night comes, and, you know, Jennifer's texting her beforehand, hey, like, hey. Do you want me to do you need a ride?

Do you want me to come pick you up? And Molly's like, nah. I'm I'm good. And so we're like, okay. Well, I guess, you know, mom's gonna bring her over, drop her off, or something.

I'm in the back getting ready, and I hear, you know, the doorbell ring, and Jennifer goes out to get Molly. And so they're, like, talking, and then, Jennifer comes back, and I hear them entering the house. So Molly is inside the house. Jennifer comes back and says, that's not Molly. And I'm like, who is it?

Why did you let them in? I'm like, who did are is this a babysitter? Are they gonna watch our kids? Do we know this person?

Ben

Pass the background check then?

Aaron

Why are they here? Where's Molly? Who have you been texting? Turns out she was texting a different Molly in her phone. Oh, no.

Who is, like, 26 or 27. Definitely doesn't need Jennifer to come pick her up from her parents' house.

Dave

It's nice to do.

Aaron

Yeah. So Jennifer's texting this 26 year old, like, hey, do you need a ride? And she's, like, I'm good, actually. So she comes back. She's, like, waving her arms.

It's not Molly. It's not Molly. And I'm, like, well, who is it? We find out it is, a woman named Molly, but not the Molly that we thought, but in fact a babysitter named Molly. She was saved in Jennifer's phone as Molly babysitter, but we have never seen this person in our life.

We have, like, never interacted with them. It's one of those, like, got the name from a ma another mom. Yeah. And so she's she's thinking, okay. Our 14 year old, you know, friend's daughter's coming over.

She opens the door, and this woman is standing there. And she says, hi. I'm Molly. And Jennifer says, hi. Hi, Molly.

Jennifer, come on in. Just, like, didn't say a word, didn't say a word to Molly and was just like, yeah. Definitely. Come on in, Molly. I'm glad you're here.

Because she's too embarrassed. Like, too embarrassed to say, who are you and are you gonna watch our children? Because I don't know you. Instead, she's like, yeah. That's great, Molly.

Come on inside. And it was, like, fortunately, an actual babysitter, but not the Molly that we thought it was.

Ben

So how did you break it to Molly, the other babysitter? The the 26 year old? Did you ever

Dave

say I told her no. Of course not.

Zuzana

She might be listening to this podcast that she'll

Aaron

go away. She still thinks it's

Zuzana

a wow.

Ben

Family. What

Zuzana

was that one, Neil?

Aaron

People are really generous offering to pick me up. I wonder what their deal is. Well, their deal is we thought you were 14. That's the deal.

Zuzana

So but she did look at your kids. She stayed with your kids.

Aaron

Oh, yeah.

Zuzana

Although you've never seen her before.

Aaron

Never seen her in a

Zuzana

long time.

Aaron

Bring her

Ben

back for a second babysitting appointment?

Aaron

Yeah. She's come back. Mhmm.

Zuzana

Are you still doing tell her?

Ben

Told it?

Dave

No. Of course not.

Zuzana

You need to tell her. Come on.

Aaron

Why would we tell her? I don't know what you're telling, but

Dave

I feel like she would tell her. Built upon this very precarious Jenga block. You can't tell

Zuzana

her that.

Aaron

The relationship is tenuous at best. Hey. It's it's, hey, Molly. Can you babysit? No.

Okay. Hey, other Molly. Can you babysit? Yes. Great.

Come on over. I mean, we're not like buds.

Zuzana

Although, it's good that both of your babysitters are Molly, so you can't get the name of it.

Ben

You know? Babysitter not named Molly or is that like

Aaron

the Yeah. No. Very often.

Ben

I wasn't sure about that.

Aaron

That, we text every Molly babysitter or not just just to see if they wanna come over and watch the kids. Because, you know, we've had good luck with babies.

Ben

Group chat. It's you and a bunch of Molly babysitters.

Aaron

Exactly. Yeah.

Ben

Whoever answers first gets it.

Zuzana

The Molly's.

Aaron

And we never know, and we just say, great, Molly. Come on inside. Yeah. So Love it. Yeah.

Maybe they thought you were the wrong person, Susanna, but you did great. You showed up and you MC'd the heck out of that conference. So and they're never gonna tell you just like I'm never gonna tell Molly. You're not the Molly we thought you were. Oh, well, no.

Zuzana

I don't wanna maybe would I want to know? Probably not.

Aaron

Si? Yeah. Probably not that.

Ben

It's better this way.

Zuzana

Yeah. It's better this way. I mean, I had my fun, wasn't invited back, but it doesn't mean anything, surely. But, I mean, yeah, it was a good experience.

Aaron

If it helps, I've never been invited to emcee anything, including this year. I've I've asked for everything, so they're one step ahead of me.

Zuzana

Yeah. That's ex actually, that's interesting. I don't think I would want to do it again because it was so emotionally exhausting. I'd rather do the talk. You do the talk and it's done, and you can enjoy the rest of the conference.

But with being an emcee, you can't even talk to people because you always have to be there. Mhmm. So I wouldn't probably do it. But then again, if anyone wants to invite me, do ask. I might say yes.

Aaron

Mhmm. After I've just said, like,

Zuzana

a disclaimer, I might say yes.

Aaron

So you won't be happy about it, just right? Yes. Yeah. No. It's

Ben

fine. Wonder if you really meant it.

Zuzana

Yeah. Well, that's the case with everything anything I ever did. Did did you really mean to ask me me? Are you sure it's me me? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Nothing new there.

Aaron

Sounds like something we should dig into later.

Dave

Yeah. That could be a part 2 episode. Yeah.

Ben

I'm sure that's not a universal experience at all. No,

Dave

no. Aaron, thank you so much for being our second guest ever. Looking forward to hearing just the sweet tones of Aaron Francis on stage telling us what's going to happen at this conference.

Aaron

Where to find the bathrooms and the coffee. It's going to be great.

Dave

It's going to be. You know, the coffee sit you people are going to have a lot people, a lot of opinions about the coffee situation. We'll see how it compares to Nashville. That was touchy for some folks. I mean, you know, You know?

No. Yep. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Ben

Sure it'll be good. Important is that you all know that Aaron is he's the only person responsible for anything that goes wrong. Yeah.

Dave

He is the face he is the face of Laracon. True.

Aaron

Right. So make sure you bring in all

Ben

your problems.

Aaron

Don't don't mention it. But if anything goes poorly, make sure you find me and let me know. That would make me feel awesome.

Zuzana

On Twitter, if possible, and tag everyone else. Yeah. Yes.

Ben

Yeah. Put it in the So everyone chat.

Zuzana

Oh, Telegram chat. Yeah. Perfect.

Ben

Erin, will you do one favor and say take it cheesy to get us out of here?

Zuzana

No. That was the first hold on. Hold on. Hold on. That was the first season.

We are in the 2nd season. Now we are saying keep it fluffy.

Aaron

Is that real? Erin, do not

Ben

know if this is real at all.

Aaron

Yeah. I don't wanna get bamboozled. I'm happy to play along, but I don't wanna get bamboozled.

Dave

The thing is, Aaron, it's really it's truly just totally real. I it's it's Okay. Long story, but yes.

Aaron

So you want me to say keep it fluffy.

Dave

Keep it fluffy.

Aaron

Alright. Insane, by the way. Insane. Here we go.

Zuzana

This is

Aaron

the this is the dumbest thing I've ever done. This is why we do it. Okay. Okay. Keep it fluffy.

Ben

He did it. We don't know what to say it either.

Aaron

Yeah. I feel like that's gonna come back to haunt me, but sure. Yeah. Keep it fluffy.

Dave

Don't worry. We're totally not gonna use that to train your voice on something.

Aaron

Don't worry.

Zuzana

It's fine.

Aaron

Yeah. And

Zuzana

what's the fluff not

Ben

to model can say one thing and one thing alone.

Dave

Yeah. Just keep fluffy. That's right.

Zuzana

Fluffy. We need to think of a season 3. What are we gonna say? We've done cheesy. We've done fluffy.

I don't know what's gonna be next.

Ben

It actually comes from a fluffernutter if you want something to Google later, which is safe to Google.

Aaron

Yeah. It's very sound totally sounds NSFW, but I do I do know what a fluffernutter is, in fact.

Zuzana

Yeah. You do.

Dave

Weird food.

Ben

We're about it.

Zuzana

So if we didn't discuss any weird food, Texan weird food true. Oh, such a wasted opportunity.

Dave

I I I assume Ben and I will do a full food report when we, when we get back to our car.

Zuzana

Make sure you eat all the weird food, not the boring normal food, weird food. So you've got something to report.

Aaron

I'll give you some taco spots you can check out.

Zuzana

But tacos are not weird, are they? They're not weird.

Aaron

No. But they're good.

Zuzana

No. But we need to

Dave

We need we will need good food.

Aaron

That is weird.

Zuzana

Weird food.

Aaron

You can get weird stuff at the taco places.

Zuzana

So what is okay. I think we're not recording. Are we not not on it? But what is the weird

Ben

I've stopped. They've never stopped recording.

Zuzana

What is it

Aaron

weird? Honestly, I'm not the guy to ask for weird food.

Zuzana

Because you eat all the same things. That's true. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ben

So onions on his quesadilla once. Yeah. Twice. That's great. Twice.

Zuzana

That's so weird. Yeah. That's very that qualifies as weird, I suppose, if it's out of your ordinary. So, you know, that qualifies.

Aaron

Cool. Keep it fluffy.