Twenty Six, Unmarried, and Childless.

The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozberries taste like snozberries. Snozzberries? What the hell of a snozzberry? We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the laws.

This is the Music Makers podcast where I read things out loud to you and then offer my unqualified opinions on them. 26, Unmarried and Childless by Amanda Bast. Both of my brothers recently had kids that more than likely complete their families. They're both older than me, so it makes sense they're at a different stage. They met and married their wives.

They bought dogs, and they had kids, all in a nice little sequence. I love watching them build their lives together. It's a really good thing. When my last brother got married, I was in my early twenties. No one uttered anything about me getting married then.

But now I'm 26, unmarried, and childless. The comments are starting. What's next? When are you getting married? Babies look good on you.

Better get started. I shouldn't be overly concerned with what they're saying. They're only teasing or encouraging me with the next step in my life. It's harmless. No one means anything by it.

It's just time for me to be heading in the same direction as my peers. It makes sense. I get it, but it doesn't feel very nice. Believe me, I am fully aware that I am unmarried and childless. Heck.

I don't even have a real job at this point in time. I'm aware that I'm getting older. I'm aware that I'm not following the same patterns as my parents or my brothers or many of my peers. I'm aware that my biological clock is ticking. Oh my gosh.

I am so aware. So when you, friends, family, acquaintances, Twitter followers, and blog readers, remind me that I'm far behind where one would expect to be at my age, it makes me feel broken. I feel like I've done something wrong. I feel like I'm letting you down or making some horrible mistake. Instead of relishing in the freedom, blessings, and limitless possibilities that this stage of life offers me, I'm left frozen, feeling like I'm not enough.

Like, what I've done doesn't really matter or that I've accomplished nothing. I'm an outcast. I'm defective. I'm panicked. When you comment on my life stage as if there was something I could do to change it, it makes me feel inadequate.

Most days, I truly do love where I'm at right now. But when people question my marital status, I think I'm messing up my chances to do anything worthwhile with my life. What if my ultimate goal has nothing to do with marriage or kids or a career? What if my aim was to love people well and to fully embrace the gifts I've been given? Would that be enough?

What if my life goal was to simply run the race to be called a good and faithful servant at the end of it all? Maybe that would mean marriage and children and a thriving career, but maybe it wouldn't. Is it okay if it doesn't? When you ask when I'm getting married, I don't have an answer for you. When you hint at me having kids, it makes me jealous of new parents.

When you prod about my lack of a stable career, I get frustrated. When you ask me these questions, it doesn't help me grow. It doesn't help me feel content with where I am. It does more damage than you realize. Maybe you're just trying to make conversation or small talk, or maybe you're genuinely interested in my life.

For that, I'm very appreciative. I would like to suggest one thing, though. Instead of asking me what's next, ask me what's now. Ask me what God is teaching me. Ask me what I'm struggling with or what brings me joy.

I am learning. I am growing, and I am happy. I would love to tell you all about it. I'm 26 years old. I don't have a husband.

I don't have children. I don't have a career. I don't have what people expect I should have, but I am abundantly blessed with absurd, exhilarating, and fantastic things I would have never dreamed up on my own. So please, dear friends, don't ask me what's next. Ask me what's now.

I gotta admit, it was kinda weird for me to read this super vulnerable post by the author, Amanda, about finding a husband and having children and the biological clock and all that. But the negative truth in it is so good that I decided I'll just deal with a little bit of discomfort. And what is that negative truth? What is that thing that she's talking about? The whole article centers around this idea of don't ask me what's next.

Don't talk to me about what's next. Ask me what's now. What's going on in my life right now? And like some of the other articles that we've read, I think this is one that serves as a helpful guide when interacting with other people. Maybe it's not a hysterical joke to tell someone at a wedding, well, you're next, or to always be asking, hey.

When are you guys gonna have kids? Maybe that's not as funny as we thought it was. And while there is value in this idea as a guideline for interacting with other people, I think there's even more value in this idea as a guideline for how you think about your own life. So, sure, stop asking people all the time what's next. Ask them how they're doing in their life.

What's going on right now? But, also, think about your own life. Are you constantly looking forward to the next thing and discounting the stage in life that you're in right now? When you were in high school, were you dying to get out and go to college? When you were in college, were you dying to get out and get married?

When you first got married, were you dying to have kids? Now that you have kids, are you dying for them to get out of the house? I don't wanna be one of those people that's always wishing they were in the next stage of life. I think it's okay to look forward to the next stage of life, but I don't wanna waste this one wishing I was in the next one. I don't wanna waste winter wishing for spring.

When I say the phrase, those were the days, what do you think about? What time period in your life do you think about when I say, those were the days? I bet for most of you, it's a very specific time period, and you probably have lots of memories associated with that time period. But during that time period during that time period that comes to mind when I say those were the days, did you ever think these are the days? During that time period that you're looking back on right now, did you ever think, man, this is it.

These are the days. These are the days of my life. Probably not. Most people are always looking back and saying those were the days, or they're looking forward and saying, I can't wait until this. But how come we never say these are the days?

How come we never realize, you know what? Someday in the future, I'm gonna look back to right now and think, man, those were the days. Those were good days. Why is it so hard to realize that right now? Why is it so hard to think these are the days?

Right now. Right now is really good. It's easy to look back and say those days were really good. It's easy to look forward and say those days are going to be really good. But what about these days?

At one point, you looked forward to these days, and at one point, you'll look back on these days. So don't you think you should maybe try to give these days a little credit? I'm not saying you should never look back with fond memories, and I'm not saying you should never look forward with hope and anticipation. But will it change your behavior a little bit, or will it change your mindset a little bit if you realize the time I'm currently living in right now, I will one day wish I could go back to. And, hopefully, when it's really far in the future and you're looking back to today, you're looking back to 2015 and thinking, man, those were the days.

Not only will you think those were the days, but you'll think, man, those were the days and I knew it. I really lived it. I knew that those were good times and I lived it. So the next time that you find yourself wishing that your future would come immediately, or you're looking back and saying, man, those were the days, Remember, at some point, you will long for these days that you're living in. So, yeah, those were the days.

But these, these are also the days. The Musicmakers podcast is released twice weekly on Mondays Thursdays at 10 AM CST. Here's a sneak peek from the next episode, Stuff. For example, the good China so many households have and whose defining quality is not so much that it's fun to use, but that one must be especially careful not to break it. You can subscribe in iTunes by searching for The Music Makers, or or visit us online by going to musicmakers.fm.

And as always, you can reach me at aaron@musicmakers.fm.